Week 021 - Jealous That I Can Handle The Beans

Wowzers! What a week for you guys. 

Another year at the NRG. Way to kill it at graduation Emma! It's ok, I didn't know who the principle was last year. Did you bring a bunch of snacks with you? Graduation gets a little long. I remember graduation being a good time, because everyone in my row (or the school) didn't know me; but when I brought out the Ritz and Oreos, then everyone knew me. 

That's incredible that yesterday was Memorial Day, because I had no idea. But Argentina does celebrate through the whole month.  I think it's like the month de la vida. I dont know, and I don't think the Argentineans know. 

But we do know that we eat locro this month. Which was awesome. Team Locro made a nice Locro this year. Pretty much all the ladies of the ward got up early on Wednesday and started stewing up some random meats and such in the church. And for lunch the whole ward came to eat it. But not only that, we had several less-actives come and investigators and all sorts of random people. There were like 30 people. i guess when you tell people there is locro, they are going to come. So we are doing something like this activity this next month and we are making empanadas. VAMOS GALVEZ! The locro was way good with like beans, corn, and stuff. Aparently no one eats beans here, so it hit the members hard the next day.  I only at like 4 plates of the locro, and now it's the never ending joke, that I'm  the skinny missionary that eats like piles of food. No joke, everyone just goes around now making fun of me because I ate 4 plates of locro. And most of the time I don't even know what they are saying, just that they are laughing and pointing at me, especially Presidente Ohera. I think they are just jealous that I can hande the beans, and they can't. 

So we had transfers yesterday, and the only person that left Galves was Elder Hafen. And we have a new elder from CAAANADA.(thats how Argentinians like to say Canada). His name is Elder Stoooodly, and he looks exactly how you would image him from his name... Stoodly. He's a fine chap. 

I got a nice call the other day from a women who called the phone. We have no idea who she was, but she knew some English. She calls, and Elder De La Rosa answers, and she says "is this the Yankey?" And he was like, "nope." And then she says, "I want the Yankey." So Elder De La Rosa gives me the phone. "Que", I said. And she said " I love you." With a really bad accent. And I was like, "no you can't do that." And she just kept saying it, "I love you. I love. I love."  And I was like, "no. no. no." Then she was like, "Novio. Novio. Novio." I had to cut it off. It was flattering, but come on... I'm on a mission. For reals though... we have no idea who called. And she hasn't called again. 

We met this lady the other day. Her name is SALONCH. For reals. We were like what is Salonch? Now it's like the neverendiing joke. Everytime we smell something gross in the street, we are like "aww it smells like Salonch!" 

So I've come to the conclusion that the Catholics have totally corrupted these people's minds. So if you know anything about Catholics, they love their saints. And you can choose you favorite saint. And worship that saint. And different countries make up different saints. My faorite is Guachito Hill. He looks like a cowboy farmer, and people keep statues of him in their front door. Aparently he's really cool, and likes to give away free stuff. So when I met this guy who gave us free maderinas (he's a capo), he kept calling himself a guacho. This guy is awesome, because he knows a ton of things, and loves the missionaries, and wants us to come over for some legit asado. He showed us his homemade asador like 15 different times... "and here is my asador." "Have i shown you my asador?" Yes, I know all about your asador, Mr. Guacho Man. He's got a pretty sweet piece of land, and has a ton of horses. He's shown us all of them. 

Anyways, I love you. You are awesome. Good luck with alll your end of the school year good times. For reals.

Brown lay drink and popcorn are the new alfajor.

The church is getting a fix'in. And we got our names up on the hamberger pizza place.

Drucho (fake stuff).

Huevos and Galves.

Week 020 - The Old Snag Kiss Right On The Lips

The Whoa! You guys are getting busy. It’s been pretty busy here as well.

Elder de la Rosa and I have somehow been trapped in the same routine. For the past two weeks we´ve found 6 new investigators who have all agreed to baptism during the first lesson.  But afterward, we can’t seem to ever find any of them. We have their phone numbers, but they don’t answer. We go to their house, and they are not there. And when they are home, they are sleeping. Because Ciesta has somehow become 6 hours during the day. Whatever… We'll find them. But I have also come to the realization that people´s neighbors and friends are always being sent by Satan. We’ll be in the middle of telling Joseph Smith´s testimony of the first vision, and our investigators will see their friends in the window, and they´ll say, "Oh Hola Muchacho; wait a moment fellas, got to talk with my amigos."  With five out of the six people that we programed for baptism, we had this exact thing happen when we were asking them to be baptized. No joke. At time five, I was just waiting for it to happen. It’s kind of funny.

So check this, we had an awesome baptism on Saturday, and gained 2 new members in the Galves branch. Brenda and Dianna, who are the daughters of Gregoria, and sisters of Augustine, were baptized. Their mom will be baptized in two weeks. It was awesome. Dianna was baptized 4 times, because it was messed up twice, and when Brenda was about to be baptized we realized that during Dianna’s baptism, the missionary that baptized her had put up his left hand. It was really cool though.

We had 21 people at church yesterday. 3 were visitors that used to be a part of the church in Galves 30 years before, and had moved to the United States. Actually one of them has a funny story… So Galves isn’t that big of a town, so word gets around. And when we tell people we are the mormon missionaries, they always want to tell us about the American missionary that came back and married a fifteen year old and brought her back to the U.S. Which isn’t true, because I just talked to that girl yesterday. But it is true that this missionary came and found this woman when she was 18, and they got married and went back to the U.S. But it was funny because I was sitting with Ebelia at church (who by the way is totally active again! Vamos!), and she was all like, "yeah that’s the girl who left with that missionary at 15" And I was like "No Way! She´s like famous around here."

Anyway, Donato is doing awesome. He finally bought some glasses, and is booking though the Book of Mormon, and actually knows what’s going on in classes. In the words of Donato, "Si si si muy bueno cosas, muy bueno, Jesus es muy bueno." He got to bless the sacrament for the first time. He was pretty nervous, but killed it, because he’s been practicing the prayer for weeks. In the past he was passing the sacrament, and it was always so funny because the room is not that big, and he would talk to people as he would pass… like, "Como esta Hermana, muy bueno muy Bueno." Then he would give all the Hermanas and children hello kisses on the cheek. That’s what everyone does here, because Argentina is like half Italian. So everyone gives kisses on the cheek. With the old people, the missionaries don’t care, because it will only offend them if you give the old handshake. But you have to watch out for the young ladies, because the girls in Argentina, in the words of my companion, are "snakes". It’s likely you’ll get the old snag kiss right on the lips. Snakes! This is why … when we meet younger people I give a quick handshake with my elbows firm. No. It is crazy though. Because there are a lot of really attractive people in Argentina.

We met this funny guy on the street sitting in front of his house with his matte, and we were talking to him. And all he wanted to talk about was the girls in Argentina. Literally, every time a girl passed, which was a lot, he was like "mire mire mire, all the girls are beautiful, beautiful!" And it didn’t matter how old they were. If it was a girl, he would say" mire mire mire all the girls"! My companion decided to show him a scripture about lusting over women, and the guy was like," yeah yeah yeah whatever, but look at all the girls"!! It was awesome.

That reminds me of this other guy Pablo, who we always see in the street. Pablo is loco because he always wants me to give him money for cigarettes. But he is always saying this Argentinian Spanish phrase that sounds like “my body” when he says it. So when we see him, he’s always like "my body, my body, my body, my body" really fast. And he’s always laughing as he says it. He’s totally drunk and crazy.

So we pretty much own this dog now. His name is Poncho and he follows us everywhere… at least once he sees us. But he’s a capo. And he’ll follow us all day, and wait for us in front of the apartment. He’s actually in the Cyber cafe with us right now.  I’ll take a picture, but yeah, it’s kind of sad when he wants to come into the apartment at night and we don’t let him. I don’t know why he likes us so much, because we don’t even feed him anything. But lately we’ve been trying to get him a girlfriend, but every other dog we show him doesn’t take. They do a little twirl around each other, and he’s like "Na", and he comes back to us. I guess he’s got high standards.

Anyways, Galves is doing awesome. I love it here. The people are awesome. And I love you guys.

P.S.  Locran is getting real (reference week 019 email).This Wednesday, we and the Hermanas of Galves (aka team Locran), are getting the day of Locran going. See attached picture.

Brenda, Dianna, and Gregoria are across from me. This is after the baptism. Los Capos are in the back. 

Week 019 - I'm About to Get Real Right Now. Like Real Real.

Hey fellas! You guys all sound great!  Sorry I didn’t get to talk a lot last week. The only computers in all of Galves were all down, and when it came back up, the café manager wanted to close for ciesta! Lazies! So we gave them a few bucks to let us in for a bit.

Congratulations to Emma; you are such a winner. Dad sent me a picture of you and your super cool award paper.

These past two weeks have been awesome. I’ve been going all over the place. To Santa Fe 4 times, and Rosario 1 time for visa stuff.  So... all my money is with the bus driver that screams "2 peso" every time someone gives him a 100 peso note, when it cost 72 pesos. Jeez, you would think that people would know this bus driver doesn’t carry around that much change. So I always have two pesos. It’s very satisfying to have that two peso ready, and then he says "excellente" (man I wish I was talking to you in person, so I could impersonate him). Anyways, we're tight.  But I have learned we should never take the 12:30 bus back to Galves, because for some reason everyone wants on that bus. And it doesn’t matter if there are enough seats, they just pack the bus.  It’s kind of a gamble when you pay the guy and get to the back of the bus and find there are no seats left.  And people have already packed the aisle behind you.  So you are left standing for two hours to Galves. For some reason we didn’t learn our lesson the first time. So it happened twice. No worries though, my legs have been building up strength from all this walking. I swear I’m going to get back, and will never be tired walking around all day at Disneyland.

So I guess every three months I have to go to Santa Fe and then Rosario to resolve visa stuff; to get a new 3 month visa. That’s how the visas work here. You don’t get a visa for a year, but you get a new one every three months.

Rosario is super cool. It’s a really nice city with beaches and cool stores. So lame of me that I didn’t bring my camera because I would have shown you possibly the greatest sandwich I have ever eaten. I don’t even know what’s on it. We went to this place called Milton’s (totally down to go back), and they sell hot dogs, hamburgers, and these larger sandwiches with like a slab of thin steak. That’s what I got of course, and it had an egg on it, and I don’t really know what else, because they have all these condiments and I was just like "give me some of that, and that, and that". I think some of it was cow tongue, but don’t be mistaken by the cow tongue, it doesn’t taste like normal tongue. Anyways that was cool.

Oh, check this… on the week leading up to the 25th, for some reason all the carnecerias collect all the spam quality meats (from their cows), and other meats, and they sell it on the 25th. And everyone goes out and buys what is called "locran." But to shorten things up, it’s a pile of guts, eyes, and all the good stuff.  And you make a stew out of it. I am so going to the carneceria and buying myself piles of this "locran”.

I'm starting to learn that so much stuff sold here is totally drucho (fake). A lot of stores sell iPods, which are actually like a thumb drive with an aux insert and a sideways sticker that says iPod. They can’t trick me though; I’m from the states son, and that’s not an iPod. But you can find cool trading cards; like futbol and DragonBallz. Pretty much that’s it, but a lot of stores, the majority, sell fake ones, and they are almost like paper. But if you search hard enough you can find the one store that sells real ones. That will be the day.

Ok, I’m about to get real right now, like real real. So remember the "chain guy"?  Yeah it’s not a guy, it’s a lady, and she cries like a baby.  So my companion and I are walking through some of the back streets of Galves when we heard what sounded like a baby crying. I was like "what is that?" And we are looking around and behind us (Kind of far off) and we see this lady. All I could really see was her figure in the shadows. But I realize it’s her making a baby crying sound. I told my companion, "it's dip" and we made a turn towards this other street, and I look, and she decides to start running at us screaming.  I was like NOPE!  And we booked it towards the apartment.  We never saw her again, but the next day we were talking to one of our investigators and somehow we mentioned this crazy lady that was crying like a baby,and our investigator’s family said, "oh yeah, you saw La Llorona". I was like “what?” And she said, "yeah, La Llorona, she goes around crying like a baby in hopes that you will help her find her baby, and if you don’t help her, she'll start beating you with a chain." But if you do help her, you have to look for her baby for the whole night until sunrise. So pretty much we are going to run every time we see a lady crying like a baby. Got to love Galves!! Apparently it’s sort of a Mexican folklore;  but there is a crazy lady around Galves, and it's kind of a thing.

Ok, coolest thing ever… on the way to Rosario we were listening to some of the muzica of the office Elders, and they have Tarzan (Phil Collins), but he’s singing in Spanish. Coolest thing I’ve ever heard, but you guys should check it out.

Also, here’s a cool story… I was on division in Santa Fe, and I was with my companion and another Elder I had never met before. We were walking down the street when we saw this blind guy on the side of a building. The other missionary sees him, and stops and says, “Wait. I can heal this guy.” I was like, “what?” And he said, “Yeah, we have the priesthood don’t we.”  So he goes up to the guy and says "Sir, do you believe I can heal you?" And of course the guy says, "si, si, si". So he puts his hand over his eyes and says pretty much what you expect him to say, and says in the name of Jesus Christ. He then lifts his hands off this poor guys face and asks "Can you see me?" And the guy just lifts his face with a smile looking all around and says "No.” Then check this, he says, “Oh I’m sorry.” And we walk off, and then he says, "Dang, it didn’t work again." … Well, probably not dude, when you’re just throwing around the priesthood all over the place. I couldn’t believe it. But it happened. He probably needs a little lesson on faith.

Oh my gosh. I just remembered… One of the greatest things of Galves.  We found the HAMBERGUESSA PIZZA.  This thing is a pizza, layered with hamburger beef, layered with pizza. This place opens only at night, and so we got hooked up waiting for our bus one time. The lady who owns the place is totally whack, and when we came in and she saw three Americans, this little lady started pounding her chest yelling "MISH, MISH, MISH". Don’t know why, but she did.  And she gave us some free Coca-Cola. Probably because she was drunk.  So I hope we didn’t take advantage of that.

I totally got your package, which was awesome. Super funny letters, and the coolest gum around.  I can’t seem to find gum around here.  It is so funny when you go to the mission home and see all the packages that have Virgin Mary pictures all over them. Genius!

I love you guys! And thank you for being too cool!

We stayed over at Elder Cosos and Elder Hafen's apartment, and for some reason they keep making fires in their cooking pot. So they did it again when we came over, I don’t know what happened in the second picture, some kind of spirit took over.

Week 018 - Mother's Day FaceTime & Internet Problems

Hey. I don't have a lot of time to talk because we've had problems with the internet. 

But it was super awesome to talk to you yesterday.  It's totally crazy how fast 45 minutes  goes by. Whatever. 

You guys are killing it in all the selfies. And it looked like Zach and Yevihad an  awesome wedding. Full of good times. 

Really... you guys are awesome. 

I'll have to let you guys know more about some cool stories the next time I can email, but I can't right now. But I love you, and I miss you. Thank you for all the super cool pictures. 

I'm gald you guys made it home safe. I made it back to Galves on a two hour bus ride... standing up. But I'll tell you more about that later. 

Love you. Have an awesome week!!

I've hit 35 different kinds of alfaljors. Got to get to that 100! 

Week 017 - Yeah, Mormons are Jehovah’s Witness

Hey fellas! I’m giving the thumbs up to Katie right now. I just read an awesome story about Katie and her audition for the school talent show. I’m going to plaster that story in my journal of really cool things. For reals though, that was so funny. 

It feels really great to get my picture up on the Kingwood Stake wall of missionaries. By the way, in that picture I am not wearing pants, and it was like 6 in the morning, and I had to take a quick pic of my upper body in a suit for the mission application.

So this week was fantastical! We had a record breaking 19 people at church, if you count the two babies. So … record breaking 17 people. With all the members, four investigators, four children of Gregoria, and Ebelia, a less active member. Vamos Galves! And it was the first Sunday of the month, so we all got to bear our testimonies. Testimony meetings are awesome here, because usually everyone has to go, because there is more than enough time to do it. Also, we found three new investigators, so we got to teach like 4 lessons!

Vamos … no more walking! I swear I’m killing it with my steps. I only learned from the best though … to Mom who kills it with her steps.

It is totally turning to fall here.

Donato is doing awesome. He’s such a capo, because the thing is … he can’t read, and he needs glasses, and he doesn’t have money to get new ones. So we read to him every once in a while.  So far he has only read like 7 chapters. The other day we read chapter 8, and he says, “oh yeah, I read that one.” I was like … “what?” He said, “yeah I can read, but it takes me a long time.” I asked how long. He said, “about an hour.” He read chapter 8 for an hour, and he said it was true. This guy comes to church every Sunday, and seminary every Wednesday; where he can barely hear the speakers, and with his Book of Mormon that he can barely read. And he sits there, because he knows the church is the church of Jesus Christ. That’s awesome.

We have awesome weather. The trees are changing, and people are bringing out the fireplaces. And it’s chilly, Vamos.

Ok … so my companion is hilarious. He speaks awesome English, but he can’t pronounce things. So he talks like the "ohmergersh" chick. Yesterday he was talking about all his girlfriends that are waiting for him and he says, "all mi geeerfrenss."

So I broke this lady the other day. She’s the mother of our new instigator, who wasn’t home, and I asked her to read a couple verses. She starts to read and gets to the words “mi pueblo" and then repeats “mi pueblo" for no joke, like five minutes. I had to turn to my companion and whisper "what is going on?" He was like, "I don’t know." So we waited it out and she finally stopped. Then my companion asks, "so... what do you think of this scripture?” Her reply was Bueno, “exactamente this is a bueno verse.”

A lot of people who are Catholic, or who don’t believe in God, have a lot of great responses when we come to the door. My favorite this week was, "Religion? I don’t even believe in myself." Then she went inside. Or the guy that just does the cross on his chest and then closes the door. I guess everyone thinks we are Jehovah’s Witness, even though we say the Church of Jesus Christ. This one guy responded and said "oh Jehovah’s Witness" and I was like, "no, The Mormons." And then he was like, "yeah, Mormons are Jehovah’s Witness". C’mon!

I got to go on divisions with another Elder the other day, and he is really new, and his Spanish is not that great. I know this because I got to teach someone in his area, and I turned to him during the lesson for him to says something during the first lesson. This was his response "Si, usted esta bien, Yo esta bien, la iglesia es verdadero." Exactamente Elder! So pretty much… "Yes you are good, I am good, the church is true!”

So you know how I started collecting Alfajor wrappers. I also have a new collection. I can’t believe I never knew this before, but in the cookie bags there are stickers. Only certain kinds of galletas have them. But those are the only galletas worth getting. So now I have a nice collection starting up in my journal of Kung Fu Panda 3 stickers. Sick!

I love you guys; you are awesome, finish off the school year great.

Elder Greene.

P.S. For this Mother’s Day, I’ll be calling you on Skype, and I don’t have a specific time. We are going to be in Santa Fe and we need to find computers. But I think it’s going to be like 10 to 12 California time. I don’t have the precise time but I want to say I will call you then. So, if you can find a way to download Skype and send me your Skype address, that would be awesome. I think you can do it on your phone. I can get on email when I’m about to call you. So I’ll send you a message right before or something or I can do that on Skype. But yeah… for clarification … I’ll be calling you on Skype. Make an account and send me a message through email with the Skype account name.

Alfaljors vamos.

City scene at Ciesta time.